7.03.2007

It's a Mad World

My beloved grandmother, God rest her fun and wacky soul, used to say, "I believe the world has gone mad, except for thou and me; and sometimes I wonder about thou". She passed way back in 1977 from complications of a Swine Flu shot, which was supposed to help keep her healthy. That was around the same time Elvis Presly died of drug abuse, etc.
If she thought the world was a crazy place back then, I wonder what she'd think of the goings on today. Just when I hear something on the news or wherever that shocks my sensibilities, something more ridiculous comes along that leaves me reeling. You live in today's world; I'm sure you know what I mean. There's nowhere to run and nowdays there's nowhere to hide. (I feel terrible for the folks in Kansas and Texas, who are having so much flooding and devastation. We have friends who read our blog who live in those areas, and we care very much about their safety.)
I dunno, it just seems as though the world has gone wacko around us. Just when I thought I'd found a little serenity, six years ago, I discovered I was wrong. I came to South Louisiana, and found what I feel is a little slice of Heaven. I found myself alone in an entirely new environment. I spend a lot of time with Cappy on the phone, as you all may know, but have spent a lot of my time isolated from other people due to who I am and/or the culture or whatever. I started having panic attacks about a year or so after moving here, but didn't know what was happening to me. I ran to the doctor several times, I drove myself to the ER once, in panic, I drove to 'visit' our friendly paramedics while having a rough time, I called neighbor friends late at night during their favorite show, apparently, all to no avail. Finally, my regular doctor had me go see a heart specialist. After a battery of tests the heart dr. said I was totally fine, but my stress (what stress??) was causing all the terrible symptoms. I thought I was happy, maybe I was stressed and didn't know it. He prescribed Lexapro, saying it would help my body make seratonin. I balked because I don't like meds. He assured me they were perfectly safe. I, being what Cappy refers to as a "health nut", didn't check them out before I went right along with the flow and took them. The panic attacks stopped, anyhow.
Well, it's been a few years and I'm used to being alone and have a lot of things to keep me occupied, so I went off the Lexapro 'cold turkey'. I'm eating healthier now, too, so what da hey. Two weeks later I was a mental basket case. When talking with our friend, Pam over the phone, she asked me what in the world was wrong. When I told her I'd quit taking the Lexapro, she said, " Get right back on them!" So I did, but I knew I had a problem with them at that point. Another year passed...I didn't want to mess with all that again..not just yet. During that year, I learned that a lot of folks near and dear to my heart were taking them, or similar substances. Oh yow! Why??
A little more than a month ago, our local phamacist mentioned a plan for my getting off them, so I've been trying. Slowly...very very slowly. When I began taking half a pill every other day, this awful buzzing started in my head. I mean AWFUL. Then it began to feel as though I were having some electrical shocks inside my brain. My concentration was shot, also. One gorgeous day I was sitting out in the grape arbor trying to drink in the beauty of the day, but was so out of focus mentally, and it felt as though I had some kind of electrode hooked onto the back of my upper neck, zapping me. Well, I was angry, so I came in and checked out Lexapro withdrawl to see if I was going crazy or what. Oh migosh. You should just Google this sometime. There are tons and tons of posts by poor saps like myself. People cry, thinking it's impossible to get off this terrible drug, others give up, hating the withdrawl symptoms, so they just go back to taking them. Posts ask "Will I EVER get off these? Is it possible??" Only one, that I saw, said in huge HUGE letters, "I DID IT!" It took them five months to get off Lexapro, but they had to watch their nutrition carefully and take vitamin supplements, etc. Sighhh. I'm taking a quater of a pill every day, still suffer from occasional "brain zaps" and lack of concentration or motivation. I don't need these; I don't think I ever really needed them. I could've used something more natural, if I'd had my wits about me.
I know this posting has been a 'rant'. I'm just kind of upset with the pharmacuetical companies and the doctors, who fit-hand in-glove with them for nothing more than profit. I think if they had their way, they could declare that everyone's gone mad and in need of their 'junk'. If it weren't for their ineptitude, the world still might have ol' Elvis. I might have my Grandma around, yet, and she'd still be wondering about Thou.


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